MoNomo guide
Your sexuality journey
Purity culture is a lot to unlearn. Take your time. Nobody is grading.
Shame is a leftover, not a fact
If you were taught that desire was dangerous, it makes sense that sex feels loaded now, married or not. That shame was installed, and it can be uninstalled, slowly. A sex-positive therapist helps a lot of people do it faster.
Figuring out who you are
Some people leave and discover they are queer. Some always knew. Some are still working it out. All of that is normal, and none of it needs anyone's sign-off.
The basics nobody taught you
If a pamphlet was your sex ed, you have gaps. That is not a personal failing. Consent, contraception, and STI testing: a doctor or Planned Parenthood can cover the basics without judgment.
Reading
- Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. The science of desire, minus the shame.
- Pure by Linda Kay Klein. About evangelical purity culture, and it will feel extremely familiar.
More links: the Sexuality bubble in Resources.